Grapevine

Having been through the great storm (okay, not that great – 16 of the 25 comments were my clarifications!) my last post created, thought of rambling about something more uncontroversial. For the uninitiated, grapevine is the non-official communication channel within any organization. Grapevine has nothing to do with Grapes or wine or the vines that grow grapes – though the writer likes both grapes and the many varieties of fermented concoctions that are distilled out of its juice.

The online dictionary gives the meaning of grapevine as gossip, rumor, hearsay – but no dictionary can stress the importance of this channel of communication to the health of an organization. Some of the most important happenings in an organization - like who is going out with the hottest chick in office, who has bought the latest model of iPhone – get the attention they deserve through this channel. Many management gurus have understood and underscored the importance of this channel and use it to determine the success of an organization.

Grapevine has many uses and contrary to popular belief is a multi-channel communication. There are separate grapevines for 

1) communication within employees, 

2) communication of employee perspectives to management and 

3) of management perspective to employees. 

Of these, the first one is the most interesting and has sub-categories like 

1) Female only grapevines (‘who is the hottest hunk in office’ types), 

2) Male only grapevines (who is the best and least expensive chick to hang out with, is HR recruiting any hot chick this month? types)

3) VP/Managers grapevines (‘who got the best pay rise/new cabin with a view’ types) 

4) employee level grapevines (‘how to impress your boss and get promoted, when is your boss going on holiday’ types) and the 

5) generic grapevines (‘when is the appraisal getting released, what did admin find in the washroom cleaning over the weekend’ types).

Many people (including some in top mgmt) think grapevine is bad and promotes disharmony and gossip. But, on the contrary, it promotes a lot of bonding, camaraderie and friendships. If someone in Networks is interested in a hot chick in Operations or BD, they just need to take the TL or AM for a smoke break and get the details. It is that simple and always works wonders. The discussion would go this way:

Net: Machi, who is that new chick in your team?

Ops/BD: She is from xxxx company da. Comes with good assets credentials.

Net: She looks like a north Indian machi.

Ops/BD: I don’t know da, she said that she is from B’lore.

Net: Most people in B’lore are from the North machi.

Ops/BD: hmmmm, (ruing his missed chance) I saw her last week at Mayajaal with another guy 

Net: (thinking ‘aahaa vada poche’, but hiding disappointment) could be her brother machi.

Ops/BD : hmmmm. need to go for that client call, pay for the tea and smoke da.

This is just a sample conversation and I am sure that similar conversations about guys/hunks go on in the female grapevine world.

Grapevines really are a nuisance when appraisals happen. Appraisal conversation goes like this:

HR/Manager: This is your new pay package; this is strictly confidential and should not be shared with anyone. Understood?

Employee: (‘ f#@$ you’) Yes sir.

Before you come out of the room, the package details have spread across the floor and stopped just short of being posted on the notice board.

Grapevines also give you some important information beforehand so that you can be prepared to handle a resignation.

Employee: Did you see my FB profile, sir?

Manager: Yes, you look good in the profile pic (wipes his drool)

Employee: Oh sir, thanks. But you should see xxxx’s profile. She has posted pictures of her weekend outing with her finace.

Manager: Fiance? Is she getting married? (d@#%, I should have proposed first!)

Employee: (‘promotion!’ :-D) Yes sir, you didn’t know? Next week and going to settle in Singapore.

Manager: (oh my god. now I have to ask HR to find me a replacement) 

But the worst HR nightmare is this one:

Emp 1: Did you know that xxxx company is recruiting and they are paying twice the salary to people like us.

Emp 2,3,4,5,6: Really? (all 5 CVs get posted to company xxxx in the next half an hour).

Grapevines (especially the male ones) work best when mixed with alcohol. I have long wondered if any of these ‘drinking after office hours with colleagues’ are more productive and insightful than all the written and oral communication within office. It takes a couple of drinks for the topic to turn towards the office, but once it does, there is no stopping. The drinks loosen up the rigid false barriers put in place and give the mind a free hand in analyzing and criticizing everyone from the front office to the corner office suite. A few souls that are timid in office really show their true colors at these sessions and run a riot. 

So never find fault with an organization’s communication (both internal and external). You will never know till you join the organization and become part of the grapevine to understand the real strength and robustness of their Organizational Communications.