How did I feel?

My first attempt at writing at all and that too without a copy. So apologize upfront for all mistakes and guffaws that are bound to happen. :)

"How did I feel?" - This was a question posed to me on a chat forum from one of my very close buddies. I did not know how or what to answer. There are so many dimensions to feelings that if you can describe it in words, then it loses all its meaning. Pardon me for the use of the word 'feelings'. This is a much abused word in general and in Vijay movies in particular as the comedian Vivek rightly pointed out.

Now to the crux of the matter. 'Feelings' is a word that is generally associated with love and its family of other words like passion, liking, warmth, feel-good, cozy, relationship etc. So how you feel depends on how much and how deep is your relationship. But that is not the actual topic of this post, is it? No sir/madam, the real topic is how you felt at that particular point in time. Believe me, there is nothing harder to tell than how you felt at one particular point in time. As mentioned before, it depends on several factors. If your relationship/love is deep and true, even then it changes with time and place. When today's events become distant memories, it is kind of a photo becoming old - acquiring a sepia tone to it. It may look a bit jaded and ugly, but retains its warmth and love.

It has also got to do with the choices we make. Life is a gamble and we all get to make choices. We sometimes make the right ones and goof up many a time. And it is the goof ups that come to haunt us as any gambler worth his salt would tell you. When you do make a goof up and live to see it blossoming in other places, what do you do? Feel sorry and pained that you lost your chance? Or happy that you did not take the risk? The share markets and love have so much in common that now I have started loving the share markets!!! You live to reap the profits of correct decisions and also live to reap the pains of the losses or goof ups.

I know that many of you may think this as a random rambling of an unstable mind, but think for a moment on the choices you had to make and whether you made the right ones, and you may still change your mind!!!

How did you feel?